In an age of AI-generated content, 20-second attention spans, and readers who can close your tab with a blink, clear writing is more important than ever. That’s why today’s writing mistake spotlight—verbosity—remains one of the most common and costly errors for authors in 2025.
Let’s break down what verbosity is, why it’s such a problem in modern storytelling, and how to recognize (and fix) it in your own work.
What Is Verbosity?
Verbosity is the use of more words than necessary to communicate a point. It’s not the same as having a rich or lyrical writing style (we love those when done right). It’s when sentences get bogged down with excessive detail, redundant phrases, or over-explained actions—cluttering your story’s momentum and dulling its emotional impact. This clutter often goes hand-in-hand with the overuse of pronouns and fancy words, masking simple actions behind needlessly complex descriptions.
And in a digital world where most readers preview a sample page before buying, verbosity is often the first red flag that makes them move on.
Modern Examples of Verbosity (and How to Fix Them)
Here are some common offenders we see in manuscripts here at Midnight Editors:
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Over-describing Character Actions
Verbose:
“Brooke lifted the cup to her lips, drinking the lukewarm tea inside. She cringed at the temperature. She set the cup down, wiped her lip, adjusted the napkin on her lap and gazed over at her grandma.”
Edited:
“Brooke sipped her lukewarm tea and cringed. She set the cup down and looked at her grandma.”
Every micro-movement doesn’t need a sentence. Trust your reader’s imagination. Unchecked perspective shifts during these moments can also lead to head-hopping and POV errors, jarring the reader out of the scene entirely.
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Excessively Detailed Setting Descriptions
Verbose:
“The vale of the hillside was craggy and covered in many bushes of all colors and sizes, as well as boulders ranging in color from slate gray to dark midnight black to depict the mountainside in an attractive morning light…”
Edited:
“The craggy hillside was dotted with bushes and slate-colored boulders, glowing in the morning light.”
Today’s readers want evocative snapshots, not a geologic survey.
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Unnatural Dialogue
Modern readers can sniff out stiff dialogue faster than ever—especially when characters don’t sound like real people.
Verbose:
“Mother, I would like to go to the grocery store to purchase desserts we currently lack. May I borrow some money?”
Edited:
“Mom, can I have some cash? We don’t have anything good at home.”
Ask yourself: Would a real teenager ever say that first version?
Why It Matters More in 2025
With tools like ChatGPT, Sudowrite, and GrammarlyGO in every author’s arsenal, verbosity has evolved. Many AI-assisted drafts tend to overexplain or default to filler language. That means authors need to be even more ruthless about editing—cutting the fluff, choosing sharper verbs, and trusting the power of subtext.
**AI can help you generate—**but you still have to sculpt.
A Timeless Rule from Strunk & White
As the legendary Elements of Style puts it:
“Rich, ornate prose is hard to digest, generally unwholesome, and sometimes nauseating. It is always a good idea to reread your writing later and ruthlessly delete the excess.”
Yes, even in 2025.
Final Thoughts
Verbosity doesn’t just make your prose clunky—it dulls your characters, weakens your pacing, and risks losing your readers. So the next time you edit, channel your inner minimalist. Trim the fat, tighten your sentences, and let your story breathe.
Need help cleaning up your manuscript? Midnight Editors offers professional line editing services along with sample edits of your first 1,000 words—free. Whether you’re querying, self-publishing, or prepping for a hybrid launch, we’ll help your story shine without the extra fluff.
Let’s cut to the chase—beautifully.
Click here to book an author breakthrough session.
